Sexual Frustration is a Killer

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Lots of things in life are frustrating: phone bills, dishes, especially those incompetent customer service employees that work for your local cable company and don’t speak a word of English – but none are as frustrating as wanting sex and not getting it. Better known as sexual frustration, this phenomenon has recently been found to cause several health problems in its sufferers, as if being sex-deprived wasn’t bad enough already.

In a 2014 study at the University of Michigan, researchers genetically modified male fruit flies to have them secrete female sex hormones. The other, non-modified males around them were turned on 24/7 by the hormones, but not a single female was in sight.

These sexually frustrated flies "experienced rapid decreases in fat stores," showed signs of stress more often than usual, and ultimately lived shorter lives than their counterparts who were getting lucky on the regular. Similar results were found in female fruit flies, as well as in longer-living species like mice.

There is a cure, though – sex. Lots of it. Mating “partially reversed the negative effects on health and aging” in all studies performed, which basically means that sex is not only fun, but helps slow aging and reduce stress. Like our cookies. Sex and cookies – the recipe to a great night and a long, healthy life.